Archive for the ‘humour’ Category

From the Reagan Diaries - A Satire

Friday, February 15th, 2008

Good ‘ol boy Ronnie Regan knows a slacker when he sees one

A moment I’ve been dreading. George brought his ne’er-do-well son around this morning and asked me to find the kid a job. Not the political one who lives in Florida; the one who hangs around here all the time looking shiftless. This so-called kid is already almost 40 and has never had a real job. Maybe I’ll call Kinsley over at The New Republic and see if they’ll hire him as a contributing editor or something. That looks like easy work.

Ronald Wilson Reagan
40th President of the
United States of America

I’m not very much into religion, nor much of a conspiracy theorist, but I’ve always found it fun and interesting that each of Reagan’s names have six letters in them:

Ronald (6) Wilson (6) Reagan (6)

Therefore:

Ronald + Wilson + Reagan = 666

That’s a biblical thing, is it not..?

Daddy Reagan and Baby Bush

From the REAGAN DIARIES:
this entry is dated May 17, 1986.

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Ordering Pizza in the Future

Saturday, May 5th, 2007

The following was sent out via the ACLU quite a while back, but it still rings true today, so it bears mentioning again just to keep the meme alive. Have a look at their little video presentation of a possible future when ordering a pizza. Turn on your speakers:

Here at the ACLU we aren’t renowned for our sense of humor, but I think you’ll appreciate this hilarious depiction of a pizza order gone terribly wrong. Click the link below to see what we mean:

Pizza Order from Hell

There are some ACLU staffers who don’t think messing with their late-night pizza orders is a laughing matter, but one thing we all take seriously is our work to stop the steady erosion of your right to privacy.

The fact is that new technologies and new government policies are eroding our personal privacy and creating a 24-hour total surveillance society.

What does ordering a Pizza have to do with your Privacy? Click the link above to find out. You and I must take action if we want to stop this massive erosion of our personal privacy.

Chances are, you don’t think twice about the electronic trail you leave with each credit card purchase. But you should know that under provisions of the USA Patriot Act, government agents now have the power to access those records without your knowledge. Astonishingly, if he deemed it necessary, (former) Attorney General Ashcroft could get authorization from a secret court to place wiretaps on your phones without probable cause. He can demand records of your reading habits from bookstores and libraries; he can even make and keep a copy of the key to your house.

You and I must take action if we want to stop this massive erosion of our personal privacy. Educating others about what is at stake is the first step and starts by each of us talking to our friends and family about the facts.

ACLU message

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Schizophrenic “Conservative” Logic

Saturday, May 5th, 2007

The Logic of Conservatives

  1. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
  2. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq.
  3. Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.
  4. “Standing Tall for America’” means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.
  5. A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
  6. 6. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
  7. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans’ benefits and combat pay.
  8. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.
  9. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.
  10. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
  11. HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.
  12. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
  13. Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
  14. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a “we can’t find Bin Laden” diversion.
  15. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
  16. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
  17. The public has a right to know about Hillary’s cattle trades, but George Bush’s driving record is none of our business.
  18. You support states’ rights, which means (former) Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.
  19. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the ’80s is irrelevant.
  20. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
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